Partner Cheat? Never!
Red Flags That May Suggest A Cheater
are a few things that often point a finger to a cheater. While it is true that
some of the following red flags may be sure-fire indicators, I've used the
words "may suggest a cheater" because it may be wise to give your partner the
benefit of the doubt when suspicions arise.
accuse without evidence could cause the flame of your relationship - however
much there is - to go out. If your partner is not cheating, then confrontation
will most likely cause a major trust issue. It may be wise to consult a
therapist or relationship coach with your suspicions before doing anything that
could further damage the relationship.
is cheating? Having sex with someone other than your marriage partner is the
distinguishing factor that makes an affair a betrayal. That's cheating.
Furthermore "any" situation that has you in a compromising position with
someone other than your own partner. For example, going out with someone
"without sex," sexy chats online with the opposite sex, or downloading porn,
when you are supposedly in a committed relationship in my opinion is also
broad rule of thumb is anything that you are doing with someone with the
opposite sex that you would not want your partner to know. It's a matter of
integrity and trust.
betrayal of the heart is devastating. The secrecy of an affair makes honesty
impossible. An affair is often only the tip of the iceberg. There are many
problems below the surface that you must be committed to work on together. It's
a complex and painful situation to be in.
cheats? People who lack integrity often cheat. People with low self-esteem
often cheat. Some people are predisposed to cheat. The most common reason is
that they are not getting their needs met by their partner. When you are
getting your needs met in your relationship, most people agree that you are
seldom tempted to look elsewhere.
are these needs? Obviously there are many needs that we all have. Participants
in my "Relationship Enrichment LoveShops" consistently suggest that the three
most primary needs for a woman are affection, understanding and, most of all,
respect. A man's three most basic needs are appreciation, acceptance and trust.
Love is a given. There are many others, AND when needs do not get fulfilled,
some people look for someone else who can fulfill their needs.
people who are separated from their spouse will begin to see others before the
divorce is final and attempt to justify their actions by saying that the
relationship has been over for years. There is never a good reason to cheat
while you are still in a marriage.
of snooping! Looking at your partner's credit card or telephone bill for excess
charges or checking their e-mail for tale-tale signs is a no-no. Nosy people
can usually find something to justify their suspicions, however prying
excessively is a destructive action that should be curtailed.
you snoop. . . STOP! Take a look at why you are "really" snooping. Could it be
that your own insecurities might be the cause of your suspicions? Think about
is only and always a demonstration of our own insecurities and low self-esteem.
People who are jealous may also have a problem with trusting because of past
experiences. This is something only they can work on. You can only offer them
love and support and encourage them to work on their self-esteem.
also comes from fear; fear of losing the one you love. This is mostly caused
from anxiety: a concern about what "might" happen.
bring forth jealousy, which, in effect, is a cry for more love. It is within
our rights to ask for more affection when self-doubts surface, however, the
indirect way that jealousy asks for it is counterproductive. Excessive
possessiveness is inappropriate. Jealousy is the surest way to drive away the
very person we may fear losing.